The art of giving – learning to receive

This post is dedicated to a dear friend who’s embarking on new found wisdom :)
You’ve inspired me greatly.

For the longest time, I refused to let people buy me any meals, and sweat over the small stuff. I hated having to ask for help, brushed off compliments or returned them with sarcasm, and never enjoyed the presents that were given to me (I was brought up at home to keep gifts until they were really needed or to give them away, boy did I understand delayed gratification!). I didn’t know where all these were coming from, until a wise friend pointed it out – I had problems receiving.

My world has changed since then, and that simple revelation has opened my heart to a keener sense of appreciating the beauty of unconditional giving, and receiving, which cannot exist without each other. I could list down all the lessons I’ve learned along this journey, but there are two beautiful stories I’d rather recount from Nipun Mehta, founder of CharityFocus. His response to how he gets by being a full-time volunteer left an indelible mark on me -

“When you give wholeheartedly, the community takes care of you.”

1. The Toy Story

It was Christmas day when the doorbell rang. A homeless man stood outside in the icy cold winter with a hungry child and begged for some food. As the father went to pack some food, he told his son also to give away one of his new toys from under the Christmas tree.

Without hesitation, his son chose his least favorite toy and brought it to his father – “No son, I want you to give away your favorite toy.” You can then imagine the tantrum that ensued. Between tears and sobs, his son eventually picked up his favorite toy and walked to the door with heavy footsteps, as his father took his place back at the dinner table.

It was a long time later, but as if his father had known, his son came running back with much enthusiasm -”Dad! That was so cool! Can we do that again?”

This story struck me on so many levels – It demonstrates the truest sense of giving, the great release of letting go of something most dear to you, and something else in which I cannot rationalize that makes the process incredibly addictive.

2. The couple most madly in love

This man had achieved success in conventional terms and had everything he ever wanted – the riches, the houses, the cars, the clubs and parties, and the private jet. As a fun little act of kindness, he decided that every time he went to his favorite high-end restaurant in downtown New York, he would pick up the tab for another table with a couple that’s the most madly in love. The rule of the game was that he had to be completely anonymous, and would retract his offer if he was found out. The waiters in the restaurant became familiar with his habit, and loved spotting couples who were most romantic, and then receiving the joy of presenting them with their bill of a nearly a thousand dollars, all paid for by some anonymous stranger.

One day, upon looking at the bill, one woman started bawling.. and didn’t stop for the next 15 minutes. Getting worried, and not wanting customers to be seen crying in the restaurant, the waiters urged this man to make an exception and introduce himself. After long contemplation, he got up from his seat and walked over to the couple.

The couple thanked him profusely and he learned exactly why the woman was so overwhelmed – it was their first year anniversary, and both husband and wife were volunteers for kids with special needs. They had saved up an entire year for this meal at the restaurant, and their gratitude simply knew no bounds.

Can you say who is receiving or giving more in this instance? I’ve come to realize that there there are too many things that don’t deserve a price tag, that one act of convenience for someone can go a long way for others, and there is simply no point calculating or being picky with repayment but to simply, just simply, pass it on.