On Time

I’ve been thinking about time lately. I find it an oddly fascinating subject not only because it’s one of the few things that really matter to all of us, but also because it serves as the basic denomination for how we value things and how we make decisions, yet it’s something we often take for granted. Without time, almost everything loses it’s value.

For instance, most people do not actually work for money, but they work to earn a better quality of life – big idea in building a startup culture! People fork out real cash to purchase Farmville cash, so they can spend less time playing on Farmville (they call it a time hook, but aren’t we a walking paradox?) Do couples choose not to conceive because baby bonuses are insufficient, or because they simply cannot afford the quality time – might Europe’s mandatory maternity and paternity leave set an example?

I’ve found that the most valuable thing that anybody can give you really, is their time. Time too, in it’s natural passing, is also a human construct. Perception of time is time itself, and can expand in times of boredom, and contract in times of flow. Our psychological perception of time affects our decisions. And our decisions affect our lives.

A Balanced Appreciation of Time

In The Time Paradox, Philip Zimbardo (better known for the Stanford Prison Experiment) and John Boyd suggests that each of us hold biased time perspectives with which we make decisions with, that ultimately become ingrained as a mental habit. Some of us are trapped in the past, some relish the present, and some simply live in the future. Past-orientation can be focused on good memories or trapped in miss-opportunities; present-orientation can be hedonistic or fatalistic; and future-orientation can entail excessive goal achievement and risk taking.

No prizes for guessing – I happen to be excessively future oriented.. which comes at a high price in terms of family, health, and present enjoyment. I soon figured that at the rate I was going I might delay simply living my entire life! That would be a pretty bad deal, and definitely not much fun. There is a point in time where delayed gratification has to be taken in moderation.

Life changes when you achieve a full appreciation of time. Keeping an optimal temporal balance in mind, I make extra effort to appreciate the past for providing the identity and accompanying backstory that no one can deny, to focus on always being present and live life with vigor, whilst still keeping my healthy dose of optimism and excitement for what the future holds.

Generation NOW

At times, I do find myself a slave to time. It manifests in the frustrating five seconds when a page takes a longer time to load than I am used to; those moments where a hundred thousand things pile up on my to-do lists. It’s those times when I feel a impulse to be on top of current affairs, or be led by my curiosity and know everything I can possibly know about a subject.

There is a new expectation of immediacy, and and an accompanying need for action. Call it the attention economy – brands are just paying to grab our mind-share. In this cacophony and bombardment, we are expected to respond, respond, and respond.

But with what basis can we respond if we do not have time for thoughtfulness?

Clarity of Thought

This isn’t surprising. We spent most of our early school years marching to the beat of timetables, optimized for input. We were all was trained to think in 40-minute blocks of time, each with it’s own function of what to do and how to think. There was a time for Math, and then a scurry to the time for History. A time for play, which often meant being late for the time for English. We developed an incredible ability to absorb information without rumination, and to switch between various mental modes required for each domain.

I recently volunteered at an elementary school and met one teacher who had an extraordinary respect for her student’s time. After recess, the little ones streamed back into their classroom and laid their heads down on their desks. The lights went out, and soothing music soon filled the classroom as she started to narrate scenes of meadows and butterflies. “And now we shall all learn with calm minds and fill our hearts with generosity…” I saw the boys recovering from their beads of perspiration, and noticed some others who had dozed off to sleep. It was just 5 minutes, but it felt like a spiritual experience.

How often do we reflect on our intentions and actions? To reason and contemplate meaning? And to explore the whole substance of an issue? How frequently do we think with a sense of priority? Do we even give ourselves enough time to change our minds?

Budget Time for Inaction

Because I’m pretty lost without my calendar, I have resorted to budgeting time for all the important things – having free but bounded times for thoughts that matter.

To all founders, teachers, and parents, inaction is not a waste of time. Between action is the reflection, analysis, the study of why, and the prioritization of what is to come. Give yourself time. Be patient with your thoughts, and remember the following -

“It is not the time it takes to take the take that takes the time. It is the time it takes between the takes that takes the time.” – Roy Scheider, American actor

Think about it.

The art of giving – learning to receive

This post is dedicated to a dear friend who’s embarking on new found wisdom :)
You’ve inspired me greatly.

For the longest time, I refused to let people buy me any meals, and sweat over the small stuff. I hated having to ask for help, brushed off compliments or returned them with sarcasm, and never enjoyed the presents that were given to me (I was brought up at home to keep gifts until they were really needed or to give them away, boy did I understand delayed gratification!). I didn’t know where all these were coming from, until a wise friend pointed it out – I had problems receiving.

My world has changed since then, and that simple revelation has opened my heart to a keener sense of appreciating the beauty of unconditional giving, and receiving, which cannot exist without each other. I could list down all the lessons I’ve learned along this journey, but there are two beautiful stories I’d rather recount from Nipun Mehta, founder of CharityFocus. His response to how he gets by being a full-time volunteer left an indelible mark on me -

“When you give wholeheartedly, the community takes care of you.”

1. The Toy Story

It was Christmas day when the doorbell rang. A homeless man stood outside in the icy cold winter with a hungry child and begged for some food. As the father went to pack some food, he told his son also to give away one of his new toys from under the Christmas tree.

Without hesitation, his son chose his least favorite toy and brought it to his father – “No son, I want you to give away your favorite toy.” You can then imagine the tantrum that ensued. Between tears and sobs, his son eventually picked up his favorite toy and walked to the door with heavy footsteps, as his father took his place back at the dinner table.

It was a long time later, but as if his father had known, his son came running back with much enthusiasm -”Dad! That was so cool! Can we do that again?”

This story struck me on so many levels – It demonstrates the truest sense of giving, the great release of letting go of something most dear to you, and something else in which I cannot rationalize that makes the process incredibly addictive.

2. The couple most madly in love

This man had achieved success in conventional terms and had everything he ever wanted – the riches, the houses, the cars, the clubs and parties, and the private jet. As a fun little act of kindness, he decided that every time he went to his favorite high-end restaurant in downtown New York, he would pick up the tab for another table with a couple that’s the most madly in love. The rule of the game was that he had to be completely anonymous, and would retract his offer if he was found out. The waiters in the restaurant became familiar with his habit, and loved spotting couples who were most romantic, and then receiving the joy of presenting them with their bill of a nearly a thousand dollars, all paid for by some anonymous stranger.

One day, upon looking at the bill, one woman started bawling.. and didn’t stop for the next 15 minutes. Getting worried, and not wanting customers to be seen crying in the restaurant, the waiters urged this man to make an exception and introduce himself. After long contemplation, he got up from his seat and walked over to the couple.

The couple thanked him profusely and he learned exactly why the woman was so overwhelmed – it was their first year anniversary, and both husband and wife were volunteers for kids with special needs. They had saved up an entire year for this meal at the restaurant, and their gratitude simply knew no bounds.

Can you say who is receiving or giving more in this instance? I’ve come to realize that there there are too many things that don’t deserve a price tag, that one act of convenience for someone can go a long way for others, and there is simply no point calculating or being picky with repayment but to simply, just simply, pass it on.

How one man is quietly writing the history of professional cycling

This is Nick’s dream.

He is training the first black team to win the Tour de France – the third largest sporting event in the world, but with no African presence all these years because equipment and training are too costly. He fell in love with professional cycling as a young boy, and tells me that people are slowly losing respect for the sport with all the recent doping cases. And like in Golf, Tennis, and the American President candidature, there is no better time to give the sport his opinion, a shakeup and simply some perspective.

It started 4 years ago, visiting Eldoret, the heart of where all the marathon winners are born. They have the physique, the mindset, and the hunger to win. He finds these talents in the rural villages in Kenya, and gives them bicycles to train.

I could listen to his anecdotes forever. We discussed the inflection points of leadership – and his came during the civil war. His team was literally seeking to kill each other as they pledged allegiances to their own tribes, and he flew back in the midst of crisis to unite them together. He described how one of his training sessions was disrupted when one of his athletes received an urgent call, pulled out his machete and ran all the way back to his fields because a robber was stealing his sheep. And jokes about how he worries every time his athletes leave camp to go back to their wives because nine months later, they might be having a baby and drop out. I begged him to tell me he was recording all these moments which was probably an unnecessary question, of course, there’s the movie that’s on it’s way.

So now you have a Singaporean who’s writing the history of competitive cycling.. getting the media attention in America and Europe, but we hear nothing of this in our own country. Why? Because it is not yet a success story, and I’m quite sure this will change the moment they hit Tour de France. If I were running a newspaper that was honestly concerned about my community, this is exactly the kind of story, at this stage of an endeavor that I know they need the most support, not when it’s all over.

I met Nick through another young entrepreneur, both with very international backgrounds which explains their trail blazing attitude. It’s a common story when you put such folks together with a mission that’s larger-than-life. You automatically hear the accompanying war stories of trying to garner support in our home country, as much as we’d like to align ourselves and give back. We concluded that Singapore is great for playing to be good, but we never play to win. Is this really cultural?

I haven’t lost all hope though, and it is up to our generation to change this.

A Most Bizarre Encounter

I was having an interesting discussion with a friend on the different ways people learn. I shared that I learn best through conversations, and believe in the the contagious nature of knowledge

“You must then meet a lot of smart people?”
“Talking to futurists and the intellectuals are definitely fun, but there’s really something to learn from everyone.”
“I just knew you’d say that..”

And as if to test my point, I had one of the most bizarre conversations minutes later with a most unlikely person. It was an elderly security guard who walked up to me. He was standing just slightly taller than me, and had a very distracting set of teeth -

“You seem to be very busy”
“Oh no, I’m just killing time, while waiting for somebody”
“Don’t spend too much time on these things, the radiation will kill you”
“Thanks”
“Do you do programming? How do you do programming? How long does it take to learn programming?”
“Oh no, I do design, not programming. To do programming you have to understand the language of the computer, and learn to speak it to tell the machine what to do… it really differs for different people, and it’s a never-ending process of learning…” as I tried to tailor my explanation into something I thought he would understand judging by his age.
“I know you see me as a security guard, but I’m an inventor. Sorry for interrupting, but can I talk to you?”
“Sure” and we exchanged introductions.
“I’ll skip the boring physics stuff and… ”
“No, I want to hear what you’re passionate about. Tell me the physics.”
“Do you know classical physics?”
“Well, I know physics, but what’s classical physics?” I was pretty dumb-founded.
“There’s classical mechanics, you know the nuts and bolts? Newton’s theories of relativity…. Anyway, I invented a new form of basic mechanics using the concept of a spring, it’s patented, and has made the creation of things so much more elegant. And more recently I’ve discovered some new theories that will disprove Newton’s laws. He says the mass of an object increases when it approaches the speed of light. It’s flawed! I’m not like those scientists who do research the whole day. I just think of them in my mind, and pay people to build prototypes and evidence. I’m going to announce these soon.. these theories have infinite potential and will change the way we live…. “

He went on, and on, and it was a fascinating conversation. I didn’t know what to make out of the content of what he was saying (it could be revolutionary or utter hogwash), but his resolute and belief was astounding, and the whole manner in which the situation crafted itself was simply extraordinary. I eventually found out he’s from eastern Europe, married a local, and chose to be a security guard because it gives him time to think. The conversation ended when he said he had to get back to work, but I’ve this twitch to go back and find him.

I then had a field day Googling classical physics and Einstein’s special theory of relativity just to contextualize all the jargon that he was throwing at me.

Sometimes I love life simply for these little chance surprises and variety. And truly, there is something to learn from everybody.

The trickery used to game formal education

Adam Wheeler has become a celebrity for cheating his way into Harvard. What a cunning fella! For the rest of us who went through some semblance of an education, we all know there are the right moves. To what lengths would students go if all they cared about were their grades, without blatantly impinging on moral integrity? These are the realities of educational systems which have managed to establish the paper-chase as being the most important thing in a student’s life. As much as we have many passionate teachers out there, and equally keen learners, systems are the ultimate driver of behavior, and it is important to realize how rampant these practices are on the ground. I hear them being discussed among the high achievers in college, and have experienced many of them in school. These will only continue and evolve as long as the system does not align objective to incentive.

Welcome to the life of a grade chaser.

1. Choice of Subjects
Always pick the easiest topics if you have a choice. Take a level-one Japanese language class even though you mastered the language in high school. Intentionally do poorly on the aptitude placement test so you are assigned a more basic class. Study past-year statistics of classes across the board and pick those in which more than 70% of students score above an A-. If there are multiple professors offering the same module, pick the one with an easy professor. Even better, if he’s known to be constantly traveling to give conference keynotes, you get more holidays! Once you pick the right subjects, half the battle is won.

2. Impression Management
Ask good questions in class (although you might already know the answer). Borrow homework and notes from seniors so you always turn in perfect answers. Make your answers neat to show you’re conscientious. Ask your professors even more questions outside of class. In some systems, this sets the impression that you’re a star student, and when you get anything below an A-, you have the liberty to simply waltz into the professor’s office to demand a grade-raise. A quick Google search even revealed a how-to guide on changing your grade.

3. Stay only within the syllabus
Because there’s no other incentive not to. Past-year papers (more affectionately known as ten-year series) give you model answers so that every hardworking student can produce the correct responses from a cookie-cutter. Exams are then a mere test of conscientiousness rather than intellect or understanding. There are only so many types of questions that can be set, that you soon learn the frameworks, and can spot topics and questions. In the event that no syllabus is present, and there are two sides to an argument, always respond with what your professor wants to hear, or what is politically correct, even though you might be strongly convicted of the other stance.

4. Exam Strategies
There’s a whole industry of books written about taking exams that I’m sick to the stomach. On the softer side, you learn from your teachers the “how” of answering questions more than the what and the why. You learn that graders are human too – they make mistakes, want more family time, do it for the money, and get bored marking thousands of cookie-cutter answers. Your sole purpose is then to make their job easier. You learn what keywords they’re looking for, write them bigger and highlight them so the grader doesn’t have to read through every single word and will not miss your answers. You thank them at the end of the paper to make them feel a little more appreciated and might just give you a few sympathy marks.

5. Project Politics
Form a dream team in which you can take classes together and group up for projects. If you don’t happen to know anyone in class, get impression management right – A very nuanced strategy is to dress smart and ask a few questions in the first class, that magically gets other bright kids attracted to you to group up. Two things then happen, you either free-ride everyone else’s work and intellect (especially if there is no peer evaluation component), or spoil the market by going over and above what is required for the project. Take note especially of the project assessment criteria and nail it according to the grading weightage.

I’m not even going to talk about the art of cheating (a higher level of creativity), which is far more rampant than I imagined – more than 90% of high school students and 92% college students cheat on a regular basis according to David Callahan. I hear from friends who went through China’s education system, that you’d be sure to be at the bottom of class if you didn’t cheat, they were left with Hobson’s choice. It’s simply baked into some college cultures.

And so we continue to use standardized tests to measure students across the nation, but what do they really measure? Is there seriously no better alternative? The tragic protagonists are the genuinely motivated learners who can’t be bothered with fitting into the system and are hence not rewarded by it. They are soon either forced to succumb, or are shadowed in comparison to those who simply make the right moves. Sometimes, they can’t fathom why in all earnestness, and are driven to depression and suicide.

At the end of a formal education, many who have been duly rewarded for their efforts have mastered three skills extremely well 1) pattern recognition 2) finding loopholes in a system and 3) gaming the system inside out. It’s such a great way to prepare generations of young people for life ahead, and I can only laugh at the irony to see so many of our systems broken and being exploited.

Before you criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them.